News

HELLO EVERYONE,

Well the way I understand it, Noah was allowed to look over from the mountains to the “Promise Land,” and it was good, but he never got to go there. Dr. Martin Luther King always talked about getting to the “Promised Land,” of racial equality, but he knew, and told his followers shortly before his passing, he would never see it.

As for the Lake Party last week, we saw the Promised Land, we got right in the middle of it, and not only was it beautiful, it was “D—m Good!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoever, or whomever, went to the Lake Party at Bobbie and Chris Witt’s Blue Springs Hunting Club in Georgia last week will understand why Noah and Dr. King had to be a little envious. Our party was at one of the prettiest sites around with acres of sunflowers, and three lakes to look at while you drank beer, painkillers or any other alcoholic concoction available and in an air conditioned clubhouse.

Three cheers and a happy Hi-Ho Silver to Bobbi and Chris who were the best hosts and thanks to everyone that made the party wonderful day for the club. It was great day but, overall l think nature’s beauty of the Hunt Club was "the prettiest girl at the dance.”

It was a very good time.  However, there was no Bud Light, Miller Lite, or Michelob Ultra to be found. We will do better next time.

August

Remember, next month we have a SUP Party (Stand Up Paddle Board) for everyone to attend and Rock Creek Outfitters will bring their supply of rental paddle boards to the lake at Jan Wyatt’s subdivision club house. Look for the directions and this should be another great day to enjoy the hot days on the water before the end of summer. We would be the most bigoted of people if we did not enjoy the other seasons of the year even though winter is the best.

 “Son of a son, son of a son, son of a son of a ski club……”

For the past couple of years, this is the time that I have fun.  I always try and write about something I think is funny, and on a rare occasion say something serious. Well this time I hope to be sort of all over the latter.

John Neblett has given his all to the club and we, I mean everyone in the club, have benefited from his actions, in some form or fashion, over the past twenty some odd years. As I said at the lake party, it is a rare person who will go and risk their life for duty and honor in the service of their country. It is also a rare individual who will give their all to an organization with time, effort, and service and only receive in return, memories of seeing others have good times that the same individual helped make happen. Doing for others is what John always did and in return he got a couple of “ atta boys,” and “way to go,” time and time again.

We need to be thankful that John like to snow ski and got membership in our club. He could have put his time and efforts in one of the following local clubs:

• 1.     Tennessee Valley Canoe Club;
• 2.     Chattanooga Chess and Chevrolet Mud Truck Racing Club;
• 3.     Tri-State Rear-End Shaving and Cushy Motorcycle Seat Club;
• 4.     The Tennessee Perpetual Date Night Club (meetings every night); or
• 5.     The Nude Mexican Telephone Workers Men’s Club of South Chickamauga;  

I am sure he would have given his all to any of the above clubs as well but we are thankful he chose ours.

Since as President of the Club, I have no power, no authority, and no right to do anything. I will however do an Executive Order giving a social title to an individual with the Club who goes beyond the call of duty and deserves recognition.  Even though John is not going anywhere I thought it would be proper to attach the executive order to this column to let everyone again hopefully have a little giggle because it is all true. Here it is:    

                         EXECUTIVE ORDER

I, Ashley L. Ownby, ESQUIRE, COUNTRY GENTLEMAN, standing president of the Chattanooga ski club, recognized as a non-profit social club by The Great State of Tennessee and the Internal Revenue Service of the United States of America, hereby take the following action based upon the powers AND supremacies vested in me regarding the following ski club member:

Be it known to all the following:

1. JOHN BLAIR NEBLETT has been a member in good standing for many years with the aforementioned Chattanooga Ski Club;

2. During his time of membership with the ski club, he has held every executive office of leadership the club with the exception of treasurer of which office he did not hold due to his keeping of checks paid to him for ski trips in paper bags, socks, valises, and assorted personal underwear during his time as a trip leader for the same club;

3. Also during his time of membership with the club, he has dated every single female member of the club and a good portion of the married female members of the club whenever their spouses were out of town for business or pleasure;

4. Further, while on ski trips with the ski club, he would always find time to teach new skiers the basics of beginning snow skiing. This would always occur on a western trip if the new skier met certain qualifications being the following: (1) they were female, (2) they were good looking, AND (3) they were either single or married and their husband was not on the same trip. He would further make certain that after the new skier met his qualifications for a free lesson, and then, after he had given the new skier a basic ski lesson, he would always insist they take an early exit from the slopes at noon so they could have drinks all afternoon and he would further entice the new skier with provocative conversation;

5. This same member who has dealt for years the terrible disease of diabetes and has been known to compare himself with insulin injections telling female ski club members that both he and the injections are similar in they both ”just hurt so good;”

6. Moreover, this same member would on many occasions look individuals in the eye with the same conviction as our national president and say with confidence, “drinking alcohol has no effect on my diabetes in any way;”

7. Additionally, This is the same man who has become a repository for Larry Plemmons stories with the ski club and needs only three shots of Fireball whiskey to relay the same Plemmons stories to all who will listen on any western or European club ski trip;

8. Further, AS a motorcycle rider, this man has coordinated numerous rides with ski club members, claims to owe his existence and sole being to Harley Davidson motorcycles, but rides a Honda Gold Wing due to one reason and one reason only, the rear seat is liked better by the ladies;

9. Additionally this man is the only male with the Chattanooga ski club who will take his girlfriends on ski trips but will only share a room with James Mullenix;

10. Furthermore, this man has consistently roomed with James Mullenix on all ski trips religiously, and this has only been interrupted on very rare, very infrequent, almost never times James Mullenix took his own girlfriend on a ski trip;

11. This man has always religiously used the same pickup line on any females he would meet on ski trips being, “Hey good-looking, if you and your roommate come to visit Jim and me tonight at our condo, I will make some deviled eggs;”

12. Last but not least, this mountain of a man, the epitome of giving to others, and the most intelligent of souls always sacrificed his time, his finances, his energies, his brilliant memory, and maybe a portion of his health insuring that all ski club events, meetings, and parties were properly arranged, organized, and ready for the benefit of other ski club members, being the first to show up for the same type of activities, working the entire event for other members benefit, and then always being the last to go home from the activity after cleaning up and breaking down any set-up for the same get-together.

WHERFORE, and WHEREAS:

I. Based upon the above statements of acts, statements, and selfless works performed for the benefit of others during his time with the same ski club;

II. Based upon his holding of leadership positions with the same club and taking actions to insure the same club as of today is a successful vibrant entity for flatland hillbillies who enjoy snow skiing and travel;

I, as President of the Chattanooga Ski Club, bestow upon John Blair Neblett, for his service to the same club, a non-profit corporation organized under the laws of the great State of Tennessee, and also recognized by the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT as a proper 503(c) corporation, with all the powers vested therein, I hereby name and bestow the title to John Blair Neblett, that from this date forward he shall claim the following as his proper title with the Chattanooga ski club as follows:

John Blair Neblett

“Fils de France, Et un fils du club de ski Chattanooga”

              (Son of France, and son of the Chattanooga ski club)

He is hereby from this day forward entitled to all the rights and benefits that are due him by this evidence of this title.

This 15th day of July, in the year of our Lord, 2017.

Ashley L. Ownby

President, Chattanooga ski club

See you at the next meeting,

Don't forget to start booking your rooms at the Glenstone Lodge in Gatlinburg for the Fall Conference, October 20th – 22nd. See everyone there!

Glenstone Lodge, 504 Historic Nature Trail, Gatlinburg, TN  37738 (NEWLY REMODELED!)
Toll free 800-362-9522 or 865-436-9361 (not toll free)
$90 per night (excluding taxes) per room, 1-4 people per room

Make your own reservation one of two ways:

1)Online at www.glenstonelodge.com. Click on Rates/Reservations, enter dates, click on "Do You Have a Group Code" and enter group code: Crescent17.  OR,

2)Call the above phone number - say you are with the Crescent Ski Council Conference to get the special room rate.

Rooms can have a king bed or two queen beds. You can stay from Tuesday, October 17 (check-in day) - Wednesday, October 25 (check-out day) at the same low rate to enjoy Gatlinburg and the Smokies more.

Despite some rain in the middle of the afternoon, we had a great lake party at  the Blue Springs property. Chris Witt did a fantastic job cooking the shrimp boil and grilled chickens, and the members brought terrific sides and desserts as usual.  The sunflower fields were amazing and provided lovely arrangements for the clubhouse.

If you missed Ashley's executive order praising John Neblett, be sure to read the August President's Letter. You won't be disappointed.

SUP PARTY (STAND UP PADDLE BOARD) & WATER TOYS!

WHEN:  Sunday August 27, 2017

TIME: 1:00-????

WHERE:  Club house @Harbor Heights Subdivision, 3789 Kings Road, 37416 ** Thank you Jan Wyant**

BY BOAT: Go like you’re going to the Chattanooga Coast Guard by boat.  Note** Balloons will be tied to one of the three boat docks.**

CSC will furnish fried chicken and paper goods

Please bring side dish or dishes to share.

BYOB-please bring koozies and or plastic cups

Bring your lawn chairs.

Rock Creek will bring SUP’s; they will be available to rent for the afternoon for $10.

If you have your own water toys; SUP, Kayak’s, Canoes, please bring.  

For information, contact Barb Wise at barbwire@flash.net or 423-902-6095.

Guests are $10 each, everyone will be asked to sign a release of liability form.  

SATURDAY, JULY 15, 2017

BLUE SPRINGS

3858 BURNING BUSH ROAD

RINGGOLD, GEORGIA 30736

To those that are attending the Lake Party:

We need volunteers to help set up before the party (around 10:00 AM) and take down after the party at 5:00 PM. If you want to help set up please be at there at 10:00. The party starts at 12:00 pm.

MENU:

This year's feast will be prepared by Bobbi and Chris Witt. We will be having a shrimp Low Country Boil. We will also be grilling chicken breasts. Please feel free to bring side items such as casseroles, desserts, rolls, garlic bread, desserts, coleslaw, macaroni salad, fruits, desserts, broccoli raisin salad, did I mention desserts, etc, etc.

GUESTS:

Feel free to bring guests, but please RSVP for them as well. All guests (non members) will be $10.00 a head. No animals.

ALCOHOL:

Everyone's favorite word. Beer and wine will be provided by the club. If you have a signature drink you would like to share, by all means share, share, share.

BRING CHAIRS!

For those that haven't RSVP'd to Bobbi Witt, please do so at moonsfrost@hotmail.com or text 423 322 7019 or go to the ski club Facebook and RSVP under the Lake Party Event by clicking on "Going".

Thanks,

Bobbi

HELLO EVERYONE,

Just like Ole and Arn Anderson, two great southern wrestlers, bellowed to the infamous Dusty Rhodes (wrestling’s “The American Dream”) ….”feel the HEAT Dusty Rhodes, feel the HEAT,” we are all beginning to feel the “HEAT” with the first days of summer upon us with reckless abandon. Even though everyone loves a good winter day with snow, blankets, wood, and all the booze one can have on a cold afternoon in January, we do have an option in the hot, sultry weather of summer!

LAKE PARTY, LAKE PARTY, LAKE PARTY!!!!!!  JULY 15^th.

It is that time again for the social event of the year for Hamilton County with the Club Lake Party held at Jim and Priscilla Tague’s home for maybe the last time, and we need to make sure that the entire architecture of the Tague’s home remembers this party for posterity purposes.

Please contact Bobbi Witt and tell her you are coming so we will be able to accommodate everyone with food and beverages.

Also, if you are under the care of a doctor for chronic pain, BeBe’s famous “Pain Killers,” will be available to help those that are disabled from acute, chronic, or psychological pain. Not only do we want to help take everyone on trips skiing in Europe, we do not want to, “feel your pain.” REMEMBER July 15, 2017 is the party, so put it on your calendar and please, please attend.

NOTICE

There will be NO club meeting at the Enclave for July because of the Lake party.

“………The old gray mare she ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be,…..

Recently, Pat and I had dinner with several ski club members and I must admit, it was not a pretty site. The purpose of the dinner was to exchange medical devices. I do mean real medical devices not the other things that are called devices (you know what I mean).

Nope, no one got mad, everyone was on their best behavior, but everyone was seriously hurt. Tom DuBose was recovering from a broken ankle, toe, foot, and fibula. His wife Susan broke her wrist last October at the Creeper Trail.

Dave Flowers, who we all know has pissed off a higher being in his earlier life, is a walking M.A.S.H. unit, and God bless his wife Debbie for being physically sound. However, I think she will admit she also needs some type of rehab for taking care Dave these past couple of years. I noticed her having uncontrollable jerks and blurted out improper words, similar to Tourette’s during dinner that were not a part of her makeup until she became a caretaker for Dave 24/7.

Pat, my wife, was on a cane for her knee that has been killing her most of the year and was in a lot of pain. I overdid it the day before by reaching for a cup of coffee, and almost falling to the floor from tweaking something in my back. I am not joking. I did however feel fortunate that I was able to feed myself, something not everyone else could say at the table that night, but Debbie did a good job feeding the most hurt, getting them to chew their food, and she did not spill too much on their bibs.

Pat, however was the happiest I had seen her in years. Who says a spoonful of crushed oxycodone does not make the medicine go down?

Here is the point, we are five months away from starting our ski club trips and already we are falling apart. To quote Kevin Meaney, a comedian who recently passed away, who did the most wonderful routine about his mother’s favorite phrase being, ”That’s not right,” it darn sure is not right we are all hurt and sick.  

So as President of the big beautiful Chattanooga Ski Club, I would like to give everyone some helpful hints about staying physically healthy and avoiding injuries during this difficult time of year when it is just too dangerous to go outside. These are my personal helpful tips for staying healthy during the summer so we can indulge in winter frivolities are the following:

1.  DO NOT CUSS YOUR SPOUSE FOR MAJOR OR MINOR TRANSGRESSIONS

            This is something we all know but do not practice. Yes, we all have guns and knives in our homes, but that is not what I am talking about. Have you ever been in an argument with your spouse and shortly afterwards your spouse cooks you dinner? Have you ever noticed that after you eat the ”makeup dinner,” you catch a small case of food poisoning just like you do when you make a waiter mad at a restaurant?  Digestive tract issues are totally draining and I understand a little bit of spit on mashed potatoes goes a long way.

2. NO MATTER HOW COOL THEY LOOK OR HOW GOOD YOU FEEL, STAY OFF YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOVERBOARD

            Forget about Russia, the Asian countries that make these instruments of destruction are out to destroy anyone over 40 who think they can still party with college folk and still keep up with them physically.

3. DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR BODY

            I can safely say that after almost 60 years of living I have never carried on a cogent conversation with my body. I have told my body some of the funniest stories and tried the best I could to engage it in helping me make life-defining choices, but it remained silent when I really needed another person around. My body has never told me anything. Basically, whenever I even tried to second guess what I thought my physique was telling me, I ate too much, drank too much, and hurt myself doing things I should not even have tried in the first place. I am familiar with the phrase, “there may not be a truthful bone in his body,” but I feel there may not be a talking one.

4. STAY AWAY FROM BOUNCY HOUSES

            A bouncy house is one of those blow-up things that kids get in and jump all around on at birthday parties and playgrounds. If you are an adult and even stick your head inside one, you will get hurt. Middle Eastern terrorist are bad, but bouncy houses are worse. I do not know who makes them but I believe it is probably Al Qaeda-backed forces.

5. IF YOU GET HURT REMEMBER R.I.C.E.

            R.I.C.E. after an injury stands for the following: Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevation. I think this is a little much.

            I would like to recommend another R.I.C.E. with just a little twist being the following; Rob Roys (generally three), Ice house highballs, Campari sodas, and Easy Alabama Slammers top off a wonderful afternoon of pain management.

            Seriously, we must be careful out there. Just because we are a little older does not mean that bad things cannot happen to us because we are so much wiser now than years past. And should misfortune strike and we get sick or we become injured, let us wear our scars, casts, and mobile hardware like battlefield medals. Remember, we are in the game of living and sport. We are in the arena fighting day in and day out and we have the genetic makeup from thousands of years of development to deal with hurdles that come in our path, big or small, and go forward with jubilation.

I think the Partridge family said and sang it best many years ago when they started off their television program with the song, ”Come on get happy,” and they continued to repeat the line over and over. 

            ”Come on get happy, Come on get happy, Come on get happeeeeeeeey!”

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

“A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars.” Carly Simon

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.  Otto von Bismarck

See you at the next meeting!

HELLO EVERYONE,

Well, it is summer and whether the calendar says it or not, it is time for the ski club to get back to its main purpose; having a good time whether be it in snow, sleet, rain, or the dead heat of August.  As we all know, variety of weather is “the spice of life.”

Wow, for the first time in two years someone wrote the lead article for the Newsletter in May.  John Neblett, thank you for that. Also, thank you for willingness to serve the club through the years, and even though you may be slowing down a little bit in your contributions, remember anyone who takes over jobs you have done in the past will always be told, “Yeah, that was okay, but John Neblett, he always did it this way and it worked great!!!” You have set a high bar.

END OF THE SEASON PARTY

I must say the End of The Ski Season/Derby Party at Tom and Jinksie Harris’ home was a house party for the ages. Food, Fun, Fillies (and I do mean the hairy ones…….. did that come out right?), and the party was just a great time had by all. Tom and Jinksie took all of us in their home early in the afternoon and kept us engaged and happy all evening. Estimates were that approximately 70-80 members and their special others attended.  I got to say this, Robert Haile and his date really looked cool.

I guess it needs to be said here now, but it should have been said years ago, Tom and Jinksie Harris have both been such an important asset for our little group and have put themselves totally into the ski club activities for years.   If you like the meetings and how tables are set up, if you like the food set out at any club function, and if you understand the whole concept of giving to others, this is all Tom and Jinkise. Some people cannot see past their noses and some people only think of others. These two wonderful people are definitely the latter.

A personal thanks from the entire club to you young folks. Remember you are appreciated and loved.

Your Old Forester Mint Juleps are good too.

ONE REASON NOT TO SHAKE HANDS!!!!

I know it sucks, but a personal experience for this month’s Aesop’s Fable. It will be short.

Many years ago, in fact 30 years ago last month, I started practicing law.  Now there is another great story that is for a later time.

Years ago when I just got out of law school, I was fortunate enough to get hired for a job in my home town with an older attorney who was a local legend and had fought the wars, defended the oppressed, and did exactly what I wanted to do with my career. I thought this was Heaven to learn from the best and take it to the next level.

Problem was, even though my boss was the best attorney and most amazing guy, he had severe issues he had never dealt with which devastated his life, family, friends, but never his practice in the roughly 15 years I personally knew him and the almost 40 years he practiced.

He gave me my start. I was able to learn how to practice law (always with a alcohol and no fear of the outcome of a case win or lose), how to make a living with a law practice -- he showed me what his professional model was for success in a small town practice. 

It was great for a while. But as you can guess, the dynamics of the situation were not in my favor and four years later we were not enemies, per se, but we were definitely on opposite ends of the stick. It was set-up-a-shingle-on-the-side-of-the-road time at my place and we left on the worst terms. We did not speak for years.

A couple of years prior to his passing, we had become cordial to each other but we never had the opportunity to have the following conversations;

• 1.     He never told me how big a dick he was to me and apologize ;
• 2.     I never got to tell him  how much of an ass I was to him and apologize; and
• 3.     I never got to thank him for giving me a start in the business and say how my short time with him put me light years ahead of everyone else practicing at that time.

Fast forward this month, I saw my old boss’ grandson who was born shortly before he passed away. I did not really know him well, and my wife pointed him out to me and we went over to say hello.

When I met the grandson, a funny feeling came over me. The last thing I wanted to do was shake his hand. My hands were clean, I did not have anything I was holding, but I just did not want to shake his hand.  It was just not going to be good enough.

I grabbed his neck and tried to get all I could grasp at that time, anything or any part of my old boss that could have been present or could have been in the general area around his grandson at that moment. It may have looked a little awkward, but what the hell, I needed it, and I am sure he knew I needed it because you have to make accommodations for older folks, you know.

Here is my point, whenever we get together as a group, go on a ski trip, or see ski club members out, let’s make sure that we get our money’s worth out of each other in every contact we have as a general collective or individually. Skiing is great, traveling is fun, but our interactions are the best. I have said it in the past and it is true, if we are going to drink, let us drink up each other first and then go to the bar.

If we come in contact with someone that is not our favorite person, remember, and I have learned the following the hard way,

• 1.     Not every good thing is the best thing; and
• 2.     Sometimes bad things can change your entire life for the better, even though, it may take a little time to realize it truly is better .

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”

John Ruskin- English writer

See you at the next meeting.

I must admit that I was somewhat skeptical about the outing to Bodies...The Exhibition! However, what I want to say now is WOW! Those of you that did not go really missed a awesome outing.

Not only was the weather perfect, but the museum was more that I expected.  The exhibits were tastefully displayed. I was amazed at the precision of the dissections, some so thin you could see through them.  This was not a biology class, it was more a "OMGoodness there is a God."  The thoughts that ran through my head were, “Only God could make a body so precise and perfectly planned to function as the human body."

I don’t want to offend anyone, not trying to be politically correct here, just sharing with you my thoughts on the museum.  

Those of us that went want to thank Bobbi Witt for the idea, those of you that missed it, I am sorry that you did not have the privilege of seeing where the “sex drive” is located in our bodies!

If you want more detailed directions, I am sure Don Tomlin, Tom DuBose or Chris Witt will be glad to share where it is located. 

Go with us next time!!             

Barb Wise

Starting with the June membership meeting, the price of a meal will increase from $10 to $12. This new price reflects some modifications to improve our menu and also some cost increases generally by all caterers and restaurants. Chef Tim of The Chef and his Wife will be there at the start of the next meeting to ensure our order is complete and ready to eat. If you have suggestions or questions, you can speak to him or to Mike Hood or any board member. Mike will send out the menu before the meeting with information about reservations as always.

Elections were held at the last Board meeting in April. The following were re-elected for another term:

Ashley Ownby - President
Hilda Jones - Secretary
Tom DuBose - Treasurer

Mike Hood was newly elected as Vice President and a new position of Parliamentarian was created. John Neblett was elected to this position and proceeded to remind us of a requirement of the bylaws about five minutes after he was elected, thereby demonstrating the need for this position. Thanks John! Don Tomlin was also voted as trip leader for the Virginia Creeper trip. Thanks to Mike for his service, for Don for assisting Barb with the special events, as well as thanks to the continuing officers.  It takes a lot of work for all us members to have this much fun, and we are grateful for everyone's service.