HEY THERE, HI THERE, HO THERE,
Well, we feel it in the air -- we ski in four months.
Thank goodness the summer is over but thank goodness we had a great time at the SUP party on Saturday the 14th.
We had over 20 people attend and Sunshine, who spoke at the club a month ago, brought SUP boards and gave lessons on how to use a Stand Up Paddle Board properly. Yours truly was the first to fall off his board and hit the water hard but as the old saying goes,” …you just flop down on top and kick your legs like can-can dancer, and, wow, you are right back on.." (that was either a Twain writing or something I read in Playboy years ago).
Next year, make sure you can attend. Nearly everybody got up on a board and one deranged individual could not stop singing Jimmy Buffett songs while standing and paddling (the derangement of the casual ski club member is greatly underestimated).
The SUP party was fun but in October it is a HALLOWEEN PARTY AT HILDA’S. Man, it does not get any better than this. Yes, we will have music, food and more hoots and goblins than you can shake a stick at. Everyone dresses up, or comes ready to act up, so let’s enjoy the best of what the fall has to offer at Hilda’s wonderful barn at Flat Duck in Georgia. Miss Tenn. v. Alabama; miss the crowning of the King of England’s love child; or miss aliens wanting to take you on a ride around the block. But do not miss the HALLOWEEN PARTY.
AND NOW THE REAL STORY
Here are some of the latest trends and developments in snow skiing:
New ski technology: Ski manufacturers are constantly developing new technologies to improve the performance and durability of skis. Some of the latest innovations include:
ELECTRIC SKIS- Due the success of the electric bikes, expect to have electric skis on the slopes this winter. They will include ambient lights, Apple Pay, and in crashes, they say they are electrifying!!!
VAPING HELMETS- Not that skiing is enough to keep everyone engaged, new vaping helmets will aid the average bored skier by allowing him to vape and ski and enjoy the best of Colorado’s most fabled cash crop at the same time. Man, how impressive!
PORT-A-POTTY SKI SUITS- Yes,we are all getting older, boys and girls, and how many times had we had to go to the bathroom while we are midway up a lift with a bunch of snowboarders? No more embarrassment, you can both pee and poop in the new suits and still have a full day of skiing. However, the suit must be thrown away after each use, and you get to put them in the same diaper disposal as babies and small toddlers. Sort of seems to have the full circle thing going around with those ski suits. doesn’t it?
JAMES BOND SKI POLES- This year you will be able to have ski poles that can be used as swords in case of emergency and to store your favorite cocktail on the inside of the poles when you are ready for your après ski party. Remember, the cocktails in the poles will be …”shaken not stirred…”
I’VE BEEN THERE DONE THAT SKI GOGGLES- Okay, everyone wants to do Corbet's Couloir at Jackson Hole, but nobody wants to drop 40 to 50 feet down a narrow passage and try to survive the rest of the way. With these new googles it takes the information about your skiing done during the day on green slopes, and lets you wear them at night superimposed in your goggles going down the Couloir and making you feel as if you are really skiing on a ski slope of death. I think this is the very best thing going. And now that all the ski resorts are in it’s memory, this year they say they are going to try and get the movie …DEBBIE DOES DALLAS ... for next year as an optional app. Wow just Wow.
SEE YOU AT THE NEXT MEETING,
ASHLEY